officialiwrotethisforyou:

I do not understand why you would go out of your way to hurt each other, when life can already hurt so much.

theangrytherapist:

As I coach more and more people with their relationships, I see similar patterns. Different people but the same dysfunction, caught in the same vicious cycle where they are powerless and sometimes even lose control of their lives. One of the predominant patterns I see is this Predator / Prey thing…

theangrytherapist:

TOM:  I want to wake up knowing that you feel the same.

SUMMER:  I can’t give you that.  No one can. 

This dialogue stung when I watched this movie last night.  It stung because it’s true. When we’re in a relationship, we can’t guarantee that we or they will feel the same the next day. Of course, we hope.  Many expect, then get angry (hurt) when their expectations are not met.  I know I did.  But it’s not something anyone can promise, even if you’re married.  I think it’s what makes relationships so painful, so hard. To invest in something with no guarantee is petrifying, unfair.  So what does this mean?  It means we have to earn it each and every day.  And some days we will and some days we won’t, because some days it will have nothing to do with us.     

- Angry 

When eyes close, and you see things so vividly.

When thoughts touch you, and you hold on tightly.

When words form ever so clearly.

When knowing that beyond is unknown.

When not knowing makes you courageous.

When the unfathomable makes sense.

When the only thing that matters, is now.

theangrytherapist:

Don’t ask yourself what you want and how you’re gonna get it. Ask yourself who you are and how you can share that.

Shifting your focus / turning your dial can change everything. For example, when you’re single, why is it that people are suddenly interested in you when you’re NOT looking? And…

Reframe, reshift and remember. Timely reminder I saw on my dashboard. Thanks, Angry.

I can’t help but think that I was the one who brought all this onto myself. And it’s quite true, in a sense.

I push people away during times when I want them to stay with me. I run away as fast as I can for cover at the sound of conflict. I cower behind warm sheets of blankets just so I can stay comfortable, afraid of the cold that I’d feel when I uncover the nakedness of my soul. 

All this because of my cowardice. Fear just cripples me. The times when I want to be brave, this inner voice in my head just shoots down whatever courage I could muster just because my actions are irrational, or because it reminds me of the consequences of my actions.

Today is one of those times when I just want to shoot down the chains of my inner voice. But alas, I really am not ready for whatever future my actions will bring.

I am a coward.

Never realized just how awful of an advice ‘Keep smiling!’ is. Seriously, there’s a reason why I have a frown plastered on my face, and it’s nothing to smile about. So tempted to just tell people to fuck off if they don’t like what they’re seeing. I’d rather use the energy spent on pretending to be happy in actually solving the problem instead. Saves everyone time and energy. And I get to be genuinely happy after I solve it. 

I’m just so tired of pretending just so things can be easier for both myself and for everyone else. So tired of hearing comments that I think too much, or that I’m too serious. Or that I’m too sad, or too secretive. So tired of feeling responsible for what the people around me are feeling. So tired of blaming myself for putting myself in that position in the first place. So tired of sucking up, taking everything in and not standing up for myself because I want to conserve whatever energy is left in me.

Yes, I think a lot. My head is always up in the clouds, and it seems that I’m rarely present with whatever is currently happening. I don’t smile a lot either. I am always in deep thought. I’m a pretty reserved person as well. Cautious and quiet too. I keep my thoughts to myself. I don’t talk often. I get nervous and anxious a lot. I open up to people who I deeply trust. I’m a passionate and overly sensitive person who takes things deeply and seriously because I genuinely care.

I am aware of all of this, and truth be told, this is just the way I am. Always was. Always will. 

Clearly, I am in desperate need of alone time. Being around people, worrying and feeling for them too much has taken its toll on me to the point that I’ve become lethargic for a whole day despite getting a wonderful 8-hr sleep the night before. 

I’m burnt out. I’ll have to set my boundaries straight for anyone who’s overstepping on mine just so I can get my sanity and energy back. People should be able to take care of themselves.

It’s about damn time that I pull myself out of the water and breathe freely again.